Mother of All Mavens

A whole lot o' nothing. And then someā€¦

Did you know Jude Law is the president of the United States?

No? Me neither. Maybe someone should tell his handlers ‘cuz they are totally outta control…

I went to see Breaking & Entering, Anthony Minghella’s not-perfect-but-worth-seeing flick starring my boy, Jude. I had hoped (against hope) to score a bit of a photo op, like I did back in the day when Ralph Fiennes topped my List. But, alas, ’twas not to be.

Pre-screening I tried to be inconspicuous in the Gala Green Room. Mind you, I did bring a tall, leggy blond with me, figuring at least I’d get Mr Law to look my way with such bait. But no dice. Other, yeah. Jude, no go. He came, he twinkled, he conquered. Again. And then he was gone, out to join his costars on stage.

Who?

Well, Juliette Binoche was there in a very lovely dress and a not-as-lovely hair accessory. But she was quite sweet and smiley…and blonde. Go figure. Hopefully it’s just for a role, ‘cuz it doesn’t do her justice. Not by a long shot. Especially when she stands next to Princess Buttercup.

Aaah the magnificent Robin Wright. Crazy gorgeous. And all smiles too – maybe because it was her movie and she didn’t have to babysit her surly hubby. I love Bad Boy Penn as much as the next gal, but he is a broody little fellow, isn’t he?!

Dixie Chiclets were there too. And they’re really friendly and gracious and, well, nice. Clever girls cottoned on to the idea that when you’re in town promoting your own movie, you’re SUPPOSED to all those positive things! Duh – isn’t that the point?

Something else Jude’s handlers should learn. After the movie, after the applause, after the stading ovation we stuck around. “We” being 4 people, two officially s’posed to be there, and 2, er, not. I was one of the latter. Anyhoo, the key players made their happy way downstairs. They accepted the accolades thrust their way by our group – except one who, when told that we enjoyed the film asked if we’d seen it.

Huh?

And then Jude emerged. At least I think it was him. His people had him corralled and were frogmarching him out to the car. All he could do was shrug helplessly as he was bundled off by the speedy secret service types. Haste made waste as we were left in his dust.

And then there was Emilio….

Saw “Bobby” last night. Despite the film’s few tales too many, I was really moved. Yes, to tears. Y’see, I chose to ignore the movie’s flaws and just go with it – especially ‘cuz it was a blast playing spot-the-celeb. My Man and I elbowed each other every time a new famous face appeared on screen. And now we’re bruised. The rollout of stars was never ending. Some worked, some didn’t. But still, everybody should go and see the movie. RFK’s speeches date back nearly 40 years, yet they could – and should – be made today. So sad, and yet so true.

So good on you Emilio! A far cry from “Kirby he’ll freeze”, that’s for sure! And what’s better than having a bratpacker right there in front of your eyes?

I know! TWO bratpackers! Yep, Mr. Estevez’s former fiancee, Demi, was there. With her current hubby. And, unlike the other night, Dashton didn’t try to hide: waving to fans, even pulling down their car window as they drove off. Ditto Sharon Stone. She dazzled the curb crawlers as they called her name. And it’s gotta be said, that Shazzy is drop-dead gorgeous. I don’t care what she or Demi have spent on their bodies and faces – worth every penny.

Who else? Christian Slater – hasn’t aged. Pacey…I mean, Josh Jackson, was there, along with a myriad of screaming youngsters.The guy’s still got it! Who knew? Joy Bryant…not sure why she isn’t more famous. She’s very good and very hot. What more could you want?

Sadly, that was the last of the film fest films for this chick. Our babysitting bill has gone through the roof. Our kids forget what we look like. And I’m sick of popcorn for dinner. Blah blah blah.

Maybe next year I’ll be reunited with Jude-judy-judy-judy-judy-judy Law. Or not. My ever-changing moods. And Lists… Happy End of Fest everyone

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