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Glee vs The Volcano

It’s the 20th of April. Tuesday. For the past 3 months I’ve been dreaming of this night. The night I’d spend on an Air Canada Airbus, flying across the Atlantic in my business class seat – nay, fully reclining bed. In a pod. With a privacy screen. Sure, I’d arrive jetlagged and spent – after all who wants to waste a business class flight SLEEPING?! I’d be staying up to enjoy every second of it.

But ’twas not to be.

Bloody Ash. Stooooopid Icelandic volcano. My story’s not a bad one. I canceled my flight a day in advance and re-booked for a couple of weeks from now. I’m not stranded, in transit or missing anything or anyone. I’m just staying put. At home. Constantly checking the status of the various flights to Heathrow because I’ve become addicted to British Airport Authority updates and all things Eyjafjallajokul (and yeah I had to cut ‘n paste that one). I’m also watching the neighbouring volcano, Katla, the one that could really f&ck us all up.

It’s all so “Day After Tomorrow”, no?

I tried to put on a happy face. Until I took a shower and the pipes two floors down exploded. That’s right readers, it’s the plumbing. Again. No running water, no flushing, five people.

A far cry from business class.

But there’s a glimmer of hope on the horizon as the 5 grand dig begins. And there was happiness in the air tonight, not just sewage.

Because of Glee.

Everyone watches Glee, right?


If you’re not. You should be. And you should start with tonight’s Madonna Tribute episode. Yep, all Madge, all the time. The results? As Kurt says: Madge-ical.

Cheesy, yes. Absolutely, unapologetically and resoundingly so. And that’s what makes Glee work. Musicals + one hour TV does not a perfect partner make. And to be honest, I was getting nervous about Glee. It started with a bang, totally remaking – and rejuvenating – network television. And Journey. “Don’t Stop Believin’?” Never liked it the first time round, but love it all Glee’d up.

As the shows went on, they had their highs (Kurt’s “Single Ladies”) and lows (most of Emma’s numbers). But I was getting nervous. It felt like the writers were pulling out the wrecking ball….and focusing on the adults. Sure “Acafellas” is a funny name for a group, but I’m not so big into Will Schuester. His fake-pregnant, soon-to-be-ex-wife? Yes yes yes. His romance with the bush baby Emma? Only as the B-story. Keep it with the kids.

But I needed Glee tonight. Early Glee. I needed to know that, stuck at home with backed up toilets, I could count on television to take me away….

And tonight, thanks to Sue Sylvester, it did. Fact is, Jane Lynch could stand stock still and have everybody howling. She’s a master of comic timing and delivery but lately even she, well, her rivalry with Will, was starting to grate …. Until tonight.

Tonight was Sue’s night. Her obsession/tribute to Madonna could’ve been a trainwreck. But it was glorious. She was glorious. Made me (almost) forget about the men I was paying to dig up my front yard tomorrow morning. Even my pvr cutting out (AGAIN) with 5 minutes to go couldn’t put a damper on Glee tonight.

Perhaps it’s becasue I was at the end of my rope. Or, more likely, because it was coming off yet another dreary American Idol. “Songs of Inspiration”?! Puh-lease. Songs to sleep by. Or cringe. Call me a cynical bitch but I thought Mamasox’s breakdown was as contrived as….well, the show itself. I didn’t see any tears. I think she was working it. And it worked. Maybe I’m just over it. Between the youngster and the grinner and the all-round earnestness there’s just not much more left to say other than: it blows. You can read all about it on all the other blogs/mags/sites. Bye bye Simon. Tick tock Idol. Hello Glee!

Just when I feared it had prematurely run its course, Glee sucked me back in. Welcome back! My name is MOAM. And, yeah, I’m grounded by Icelandic ash. And practically living in a campground without the luxury of an outhouse. But I’ll say it loud: I’m a Gleek and I’m proud.

For now. The winds could change…..

Posted by Mother of all Mavens at 10:21 PM


Anonymous said…


11:43 PM

Anonymous said…

your ends are fab! Don’t tell m ethe PVR cuts out again!!! Why do they do this? We shoudl start a petition and send it around and then to the networks to stop screwing with our recording!!!

9:19 AM

Leslie said…

Could NOT agree more, my friend! You are hilarious. What? No flushing? I would cry, and cry hard. You’re my hero.
Glee lost me, as you said, focusing on the dumb-dumb adults, and frankly rarely seeing Sue Sylvester anymore, what were the writers thinking? You’re being an enemy to comedy if you don’t utilize Jane Lynch to her fullest! Then the Madonna episdoe, sweet jesus, that was GOOD!
And as my gay friend said about American Idol this season, move on dot org! it is seriously B-O-R-I-N-G! sadness, fo’ real.
love you!


April 20, 2010   7 Comments



At long last, they got it right. They really truly got it right. On Idol that is…


What? You didn’t think I’d let the entire season slip by sans commentary, didya?

Those calls and emails keep coming in – let’s discuss idol. And I do. A lot. But I’ve had some issues.

First off, I’ve been reading some seriously funny commentary. If you haven’t already, you must check out dlisted.com and Entertainment Weekly. Their idol chatter is awesome. Hi-larious. Because it’s all true. Yes, Homer, the old adage “it’s funny ‘cuz it’s true” kicks in every time. So all the pet peeves (and pet names) are already out there. I can’t even claim to be scooped. It is what it is: Matt G’s mole… Adam as kd lang… Lil’s wigs… Anoop’s sweaty upper lip….And of course all the freaky families…. I mean, gosh – who hasn’t noticed and discussed all that, and more?

Aside from those hold outs who still refuse to tune in. You know who you are.

Anyhoo, another issue was Blind Scott. There. I said it. The whole affirmative action element of his being there stressed me out. ‘Cuz he sucked. He was Bruce Hornsby week after week after week. And for those BH fans out there, if there are any, let me add: not in a good way. Sure he was funny but hello? This…..is American Idol. Personality takes a back seat. And sometimes doesn’t even get to come for the ride. I felt I couldn’t discuss openly and honestly until poor old Scotty was given the boot. He was holding me back. Until he finally got the boot….

And still I held back.

Maybe because of Adam. The guy is so above and beyond the rest of the kids. Fat tongue aside, he kills it every time. Not only are the others not in his league – they’re not even playing the same game. The boy’s a pro. The rest, wanna-be’s. He’s Annie Lennox in drag… but not… mixed with kd lang and Elvis, add a sprinkle of Scissor Sisters. A pinch of Mr Bowie. And run the gamut of references that don’t make any sense and let you know I’m zonked. But you get my drift. I think.

As for Frat Boy Anoop Dog and Wiggy Lil – as in “Lily” (why is that so hard to get? Silly Yanks.)… now that they’re out of the picture – at last – we can focus on the rest. And for the first time evah, none of ’em really really bug me!

Which also makes it hard to care too much. Because at this point it’s all good.

Tho’ not perfect.

I still think Alexis Grace’s early boot was a crime. Remember her? The little blonde sexy sprite? She should’ve stuck around – more so than the rubbernecker and flitty chick. And I must admit – I’m bored of Hokey Gokey. One friend called him “the high school friend who you can’t get rid of” and I fear she might be right. His Robert Downey Jr looks and widower status had me at hello. But now? I’m ready to say goodbye.

Unlike Not Hot Kris. Over the past few weeks I find myself looking forward to his performances. And not just to watch those thin lips of his dance across his face – because they do y’know – but because he’s really, really good!

Like Alison Iraheta. At first I found her to be….how shall I say this….somewhat unappealing. That’s putting it mildly. She’s got a real face for radio, that one. Repeated fashion crimes, that terrible lid. Don’t get me started. I know she’s only 16 but what’s wrong with using a stylist like everybody else??? Yet that voice… Heart-esque tho it may be, it is wicked. She’s completely won me over. Which is why I can’t for the life of me understand how week after week she ends up in the trash heap. At least she climbs out.

Like my man Matt G. I don’t know why, but he’s been my main guy from the start. Yes, even from the audition shows. I think it’s because he’s a duelling pianist in real life. Love that! And the whole Vince Vaughan Timberlake thing? Can’t beat it. Sure he’s somewhat misguided when it comes to genre and song choice. And yeah, he can be a bit of a sour puss – personally I think he should get over it and let the tears flow. America loves a cryer! The judges are very hot and cold with him. But I think its’s their strategy. ‘Cuz everytime they bash him, he gets votes. And when they sing his praises, he’s a goner. Almost. The judge’s save would’ve saved whoever was out last week (timing and all – they had to use it, right? And too obvious to do it on the final day, right? ). Still, I’m glad the ass they saved was his. I’m a sucker for a pianist. All those lessons….

That said, I do think my boy Matt will be the next to bite the dust. Followed by Rouge Iraheta. And Flappy Hands Gokey. Leaving us Kris and Adam duking it out in the final. Which wouldn’t be such a bad thing.

Unlike Archie Archuleta’s performance ce soir. Same earnest spit smile. Same insipid song choice. Could’ve been worse. Could’ve had no pvr….


Anonymous said…

I would kill for an alison adam final – but it will be Kris Allen – so boring, yet singing well. Every interpretation he “makes his own” he puts me to sleep a la John Mayer!!!!

12:12 PM

Leigh said…

Uch, oh, yuk! Adam? Kill me now. His mommy took him to the rock star store and bought him some outfits. And then she took him to her hairstylist and manicurist to top it off.

I hate his Geddy Lee impression and his entire pretend your surprised you’re doing well approach (Archuleta style).

When he’s sincere he’s way better. LIke that moment he found out he was in the bottom two. Heh.


April 22, 2009   No Comments


Game On

Many moons ago I bought my then-boyfriend a PlayStation for his birthday. I remember shopping for it; salesmen would light up at the mere idea of their lady-loves buying them a video game. One friend of mine warned me I’d rue the day that I handed over the PS2 – it’d sound the death knell of our relationship. Once my man plugged in, he’d never be back.

But I knew better. Those days were the early days of our romance. The days when “staying in” meant, well, you know…wink, wink, nudge, nudge… And I knew no playstation could ever come between me and my man.

That man is now my husband. And after many nights of, ahem, staying in, we have three children. Which of course gives the term a whole new meaning. Now “staying in” means staying home, catching up with our beloved pvr, going to bed early, or all of the above. Or at least it did…

Until last week.

Last week was my beloved’s birthday once again. And I revisited the idea of the gadget gift. No more sweaters, bags, or, erm….sweaters. I was going for fun this time. We were ipodded-out and the PS2 was looking a little sad in its new role as basement dvd player. So I went for it… and bought my man a Nintendo Wii.

Well, my old pal was right. I have created a monster…..ME!

I’m completely obsessed. My man is too, don’t get me wrong. In fact, we now spend our evenings on a World Tour. RockBand, that is. He’s drums, I’m guitar and we vie for the mic now and then. To get to the songs you love (and know!) you need to get past various levels. It makes it difficult, or some addicts may say, impossible, to leave the band hanging without reaching just one. more. level. And while you’re at it, you learn to love songs you never in a million years thought you could even stand. Bon Jovi – where have you been all my life?!

But it’s not just about Rock Band. My five-year old son has a thing for the bowling. And the air hockey. My 3-year old likes to watch the tennis. And my 5 month old likes nothing more than to lie on his playmat, rolling around to the sounds of gunfire.

Yes, gunfire. Loathe as I to admit it, I’m hooked on the shooting game. It starts with balloons, followed by targets, skeet/clay pigeon thingies, and cans. Finally, it ends with a group of characters running around a field being abducted by aliens – which you have to shoot down. And I can’t get enough of it. My oldest and I played for over an hour yesterday. Me, the mother who resisted buying water guns, is now channeling my inner Sarah Palin and going hunting with my child. Sick!

But oh so much fun! And I’ve barely broken the surface of the world of Wii!

The prime demographic for videogames is male, aged 13-25. But not anymore. Teenage boys, move over for Mama. There’s a new gamer in town and she’s looking for action!



Anonymous said…

we’ve been playing in the garage… start playing medium and hard level sister and we’ll see if you’re really ready for the band.

3:28 PM

Anonymous said…

we’re so alike. but yer so much better.

4:00 PM

Robbie Henry said…

First off I think that all of this Guitar Quero, Rock band crap is retarded but each to his own.

Get your hubby to connect your Wii to your Wireless Network, go to shoppers and buy Wii Points and collect Shoppers Optimum points and then go and download these wonderful games (from your Wii Shopping Channel) that are all under $10…

World of Goo
MaBoShi: The Three Shape Arcade
Tetris Party
Bomberman Blast
Art Style: ORBIENT

They are all Killer!

World of Goo is friggin awesome!

12:22 PM

Anonymous said…

Once again .. informative and very well written


November 15, 2008   No Comments


Shows Gone Wild

It’s the end of Oct. A time of ghouls and goblins. A time of warmer jackets and pumped up heaters. A time of, you guessed it, television. For as the leaves fall and the suns sets earlier, what’s more inviting than curling up on the couch with your remote?

Trouble is – where have all the good shows gone?

There are the handful of early cancellations, like Smith. And possibly Studio 60 (if it hasn’t happened already). Or the disappearing acts, like Kidnapped. The ones where they show us a marathon, then yank ‘er down. Poof! Gone. Like Prison Break. It disappeared after hooking us in with killing a-plenty, but at least that one’s back. Grey’s Anatomy? Come and gone. Not left-the-building gone – they’re treating us to repeats. Double whammy repeats. As if those who wanted to watch had missed the first couple of eps. Come on! Ditto for House. Why why why? Those who like ‘em, like ‘em a lot.

If you want to hook newbies, do the new/old combo platters. But don’t punish the rest of us. Or go the CSI/Law & Order route – flick and you’ll catch it ‘cuz it’s on all the time. That seems to be working with some new faves – Heroes, The Nine, Six Degrees. They seem to be on different times, or at least different channels, every week.

Will the real Thursday night please stand up?

Y’know, Thursday. It’s always been the best night of the week – for going out, obvo, but also for staying in. PVR or not, Thursday night was line-up night.

How’s a fan s’posed to be loyal? How’s a PVR s’posed to work? I asked you, what’s an addict to do? The only shows that seem consistent are Thursday stalwart Survivor – and who even watches that anymore – and newbie Ugly Betty. Both Thursday nighters to be sure, but hardly worthy of line-up status on their own. Besides, you need 3 shows for Line-Up. Otherwise, it’s just back-to-back. And that’s a Sunday thing.

Once upon a time, Sunday was nearly the new Thursday. It had Arrested Development, Desperate Housewives and Grey’s. But the braniacs ditched smart funny, moved medical and left us with Desperadoes and Studio 60 (which if it stay on, also airs Monday).

So does that make Monday the new Thursday? Prison Break, 24 (as of Jan) and Studio 60 if-you-missed it. Nope, ‘cuz Studio 60 is too clever clever and will be gone soon. Friday Night Lights isn’t bad, but will it stay on Mondays or be moved? It really should be on –duh – Fridays.

Tuesdays are good. And Wednesday too. But no triple-threats. Donnie and Marie used to be Friday specials. And even last year loyal viewers were rewarded with Nip/Tuck. But not this year. Not in Canada. Which leaves us with Saturday. And puh-lease, is anybody watching on Saturday nights anymore? The lineup of yesteryear – Love Boat, Fantasy Island, Saturday Night Live – has gone to TV heaven (or, ahem, should be).

What’s left? TV thumb. The affliction which comes from the constant flipping around to find what you want, when you want (so you can record it and watch when you really want).

Maybe it’s a sign. Time to get off the couch. Time to get out of the house. And hit the Cinemas instead!



ABC thought we was all watching Ottawa KICK the Leafs ASS! Nah. It’s the World Series. No networks blow ratings. Viewers are too busy watching guys spit, scratch and stare from 90 feet. In 2 weeks the ball game’s over and ALL NEW! And we in the Dark Ages, sans PVR, can finally catch up baby!

1:08 PM

Anonymous said…

Too bad “the good die young”. Studio 60 is/was a great show. Well written, interesting character development and a peek into the inner workings of a “Saturday Night Live” type interestingly warped mind. Almost makes me wish I was there. Love the fact that Matthew Perry is not funny all the time!!! Too bad its over. Well whats next?? Hopefully we have moved on and the reality show has died a quick death and not lingered for us to have to painfully channel surf through the muck. The Prince marrying some drunk blond thing is sooo over. “Mother of all Mavens” become pro active, give us somthing we can embrace on Sunday nights!!!!! Now!

1:50 PM

Anonymous said…

The TV flip-eroo is nothing new– though it seems more extreme and random this year. Here’s a trick- if you missed it in primetime, record it in timeshift! Who knew Weeds was also on at 1:10am the same night? Not I– but I do now. And why is it Canadian programmers think they know better than US programmers about when we wanna watch? Face it, TV is all about the States– Corner Gas, my ass. At least when you watch on a US only channel (Buffalo’s not only for shopping, y’know!), you get to watch the previews for next week– for some reason, our Canuck TV execs are teaser-averse. Lost at 8 or Lost at 9? At least that one didn’t get “lost”.


October 27, 2006   No Comments


TV Times

Bonjour kittens, have you missed me?

Let’s see, what’s been happening? Hmmm. So many exciting, life changing events to share… My eldest child has started nursery school AND peed in a toilet (but only at said nursery school). My baby started walking last week. I’ve discovered President’s Choice Memories of Kashmir tandoori sauce. But if you’re looking for any type of real-life domestic drama then I’m afraid, for today at least, you’ve come to the wrong place.

You see, my name is Mother of all Mavens. And I am an addict.

(let’s hear it: “Hi, MOAM”)

My addiction? It’s called t-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n.

It’s actually quite overwhelming. Or is it?! With my trusty PVR, no show is too lame to at least test-drive. And since we’re home practically every weeknight anyway, why the hell not, right? Sure, PVR may be my crack, but with the plethora of new fall shows, it’s an absolute must.

‘Cuz I’ve been glued to the tv nightly. Pausing, skipping through, and of course playing all the shows to my heart’s delight. And, mes amis, there are many. Where to begin? True blues? New faves? Oh what the hell – here they are, cheese and all.

First off, my oldies (in 10 words, or less):
Grey’s Anatomy: still kinda soft, but still kinda love it.
Weeds: Genius.Way better than that other housewife show. GENIUS!
Prison Break: no longer just a pre-24 time-waster.
House: maybe getting a little tired.

Boston Legal: ditto.
But we’ll keep ’em both. For now.

Forgive me, but we aren’t a “Lost” house. We’ve tried, but it ain’t for us. Missed The Office boat and feel it’s too late to climb aboard. Don’t get Earl – is dumb the new funny? Not at our house. CSI, Law & Order. Blah blah blah. Why waste precious PVR time on shows airing 24/7? Tony Zuiker and Dick Wolf may as well have their own specialty channels. Oh wait, they kinda do: NBC and CBS.

Yeah, we’ve skipped the top models, the amazing races, the dances with the stars. Big Brother, Big Losers and any kind of spouse-swapping show has also passed us by. We’re giving Survivor a miss this year too. How many morons does it take to outsmart a moron? Erm, who cares?

We missed Smith, but tried Shark. Watched Brothers and Sisters, and ditched It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

It seems 2006 is the year of the “from-the-creators-of” series. Those are the true buzzy shows. From the lame trio: Celebrity Duets, The Class, and Men in Trees (no Idol, Friends or Sex in the City, respectively) to the knock-your-socks-offs: Studio 60, Six Degrees, Heroes (West Wing, Lost, Crossing Jordan). Studio’s a must-see: very sharp and clever. Six Degrees is potentially compelling, and definitely worth a second look.

And then there’s Heroes. I probably should’ve started with this one, but instead have saved the best for last. Yup, it’s the reward for those of you who are still reading. Heroes is incredible. Admittedly, it’s not something I would’ve come to on my own. The whole “ordinary people discovering extraordinary abilities” thing didn’t turn my crank. But I was given the heads up on this one. An inside scoop. A friend of mine read a draft of the pilot and told me it was one of the best scripts he’d ever read. Still, ESP, stopping time, flying…That kinda stuff can go either way. Well, we tuned in. And it blew us away. People, trust me – it is awesome. Twisty and riveting and chilling. And there’s an encore presentation tonight.

I know, I know. You’re scratching your head in wonder, thinking “How does she do it”? Raising two kids, being a domestic goddess, pursuing a high-flyin’ career, watching a helluva lot of tv… Well, I have help. And my career is stalled. And, need I mention it yet again? PVR.

Still to come: Ugly Betty, 24, Idol. And where the hell is Nip/Tuck? Anyone? Anyone? I know our American cousins get it. Where’s our slice of the pie?!


Anonymous said…

Oh MOAM– a girl after my own (currently broken) heart. Sigh. But I digress. Spot on MOAM, spot on. The PVR is the delivery method of choice of the opiate of the masses. Sorta like the intravenous tube that supplies the morphine. But at least with the PVR, you can press the buttons as much as you want and the dosage is never limited! I have not yet watched HEROES (it’s in the ‘recorded’ list queue) and while I wouldn’t say it’s a shame you missed “Smith”– it might turn out to be. Who knew Virginia Madsen was that hot? Not the only reason to watch. But Shark over Smith? I saw that show already, when it was a movie called True Believer. As for the other one-named show of the season… “JUSTICE”… is anyone watching this? THE CLASS gets a pass (after 2 episodes). Not so zany and Jason Ritter is no Jack Tripper (r.i.p). BOSTON LEGAL continues to be refreshing if only for it’s “I don’t give a f**k” style. It’s the weirdest show on network TV. “Studio 60” is a tv-head’s wet dream– good tv that’s ABOUT tv? Hello. This is the show Sports Night was and should’ve been. And quoting the pilot ep. of Mary Tyler Moore (a show the MOAM has never seen– and she calls herself a tv afficionado!)– brilliant! SIX DEGREES– definitely worth a 3-ep commitment– hope they can sustain. And anyone that can make both Hope Davis and Campbell Scott non-annoying deserves a prize. DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES seems back on track– and this season promises a whole lot more o’ Edie– and there ain’t nothing wrong with that. I hope they get her playing some naked croquet– maybe Bill Devane can guest as her dad! Upcoming… UGLY BETTY (bien sure!) TWENTY GOOD YEARS (John Lithgow & Jeffrey Tambor– the old school sitcom just may be back!) THE NINE (is it all concept– or is it the real deal? And I guess it’s over between Audrey & Jack on “24”) I haven’t yet found my “HOMEFRONT”/”WIOU”/”THRESHHOLD” show yet– y’know the one you LOVE that’s actually GOOD but gets canned anyway? But when I do, I’ll let you know. By the way– right outta left field comes BATTLESTAR GALACTICA– believe the hype! This is no sci-fi geeks only show– there’s mythology and action and humour and damn, it’s good. Catch up on DVD and get your PVR a-whirring for Season 3. And yes, I’m serious. I will have more 2 cents soon– as I continue to watch and watch and watch.

1:53 PM

Anonymous said…

And furthermore… to continue, fair MOAM, and MOAM devotees… some more 2 cents for you. In consulting my local listings I realized I forgot a couple of the shows I watched…

JERICHO– let the walls come tumbling down… along with the ratings! Oh, America– you’ll probably make this show a hit. But like the posters… this one has BOMB all over it.

VANISHED– Banished. The lead guy’s better gay (from Queer as Folk), Ming Na (Deb/Xiao Me (sp?) from ER) was better as a doc. And you have better ways to spend your time.

KIDNAPPED– the OTHER kidnapping show– at least this one’s got some pedigree… Oscar winner Timothy Hutton, Emmy winner Dana Delaney (still wish Pasadena was on the air? I do), Delroy Lindo (don’t know if he’s won an award or not), Jeremy Sisto… the pilot was compelling and styly, but can it sustain?

5:10 PM

Anonymous said…

Thank g-d the reality TV black hole has come and gone. If we had not experienced it we would not have “lived on a island” not the “Gilligans Island”, been locked up with complete coniving strangers out to manipulate you to win with the world watching you turned into somthing less than human. Seen “has been celebrities” try to regain our hearts “not” and wondered if the geek would win over the stupid, vapid,blond, surgically inhanced play toy. Not to mention the show where people would eat things that are alive and sleep with rodents and six legged creaters etc.(not the human kind). Without this lesson on how low the average TV watchers IQ could go, we would not be watching these new, smart, whitty well written shows. Have we just woken up and demanded some quality stuff on regular cable? Why should HBO be the only store selling the drug at a premium? Cable TV needed a wake up call. Writers this is a message to you “We the People want to be treated like we have an IQ”.

5:43 PM

Anonymous said…


12:45 AM

Anonymous said…

Try Bit Torrent for the shows that you can’t get!

2:47 PM

Anonymous said…

what about the CW’s pussy posse…Veronica Mars and Gilmore Girls…without a doubt, the best writing on tv…now that “G-spot” lost it’s best of course.

1:05 PM

September 25, 2006   No Comments


The Rock Report


From Hooters to Hero, our local boy has been crowned king. Yep, the Rossi Posse is celebrating as their victory. Lukas Rossi… Superstar of Supernova. It’s all very exciting.

Or is it?

Of course I’m pumped that he won. He and Stormy were my faves and god knows it was never gonna be Ms Large in charge. Go, Lukas, go. The pursed lips, the strut, the voice – what more could a girl ask?

She could ask for ABD. She could cross her fingers or clench her fists and hope against hope. ABD. ABD. ABD.

Anyone But Dilana.

Hurray! Mama troll was sent packing… into the recording studio with Dave and Gilby to prep for the tour she’ll open. Hell, that’s not so bad. In some ways, it’s even better. Mind you, where are those guys from Rockstar INXS? Besides delivering Honda Elements to non-winners and flogging their soon-to-be-released albums. See? The Survivor curse strikes again. If you win the car, you lose the game.

But alas, I’m surprised. I really thought Tobes would win. Not because he was that awesome. And not because he was that talented. And not because he got the girls goin’. Au contraire…he was “Evs”. But I think the band is too. Thus, a perfect fit. Oh-oh-oh-oh.oh.oh meets a hey-hey-hey. But obviously these boys knew a true talent when they saw one, so Mr Rand heads back to Oz. Dilana screams her way cross country, and the rest is history in the making….

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s face it: when it’s over, it’s over.

Every week, we discussed Rockstar – who’s in, who’s out, who should be in or out. And now it’s done. And who really cares? Aaaah… the fleeting nature of stardom. I didn’t even mention the surprise appearance by Earnie Ernesto Star. Nor the ousting of Magni.

Who? What? When?

Oh. And I forgot something else. Maybe the reason I’m all blase this morning has less to do with Dave and the boys and more to do with someone named Roger. Roger with an “s”. And that bloody PVR that let me down…again!

Honestly, a girl goes out to stalk her movie star boyfriend and returns to find a half-taped reality show. A half-taped reality show FINALE! Was it the PVR? Was it the network? Was it a sign? It couldn’t be the Universe’s way of telling me to get a life, ‘cuz the PVR lets me have a life and watch one too. Harumph.

BUT, again, who cares? Who’ll remember any of these rockers next year? Or next week? Maybe they could do a special where are they now…I’ll be sure to PVR it. Because when –if– I think back to this season of Rockstar, I just might remember the winner and losers. But I’ll never forget how my PVR betrayed me. Again.

PVR. Can’t live with it, can’t cancel it.


Anonymous said…

Don’t blame the PVR– it was Global. Not that I watch “Rock Star: Formerly-Known-As-Supernova”, but my sister, who is hooked, called in a panic because Global screwed up the broadcast and would I please set my PVR a-whirring on the west coast feed (ah, the joys of timeshifting). As for the PVR-snafus you blog of; Someone should probably read the PVR manual BEFORE continuing to disparage my best friend!

9:49 AM

Mother of all Mavens said…

It WAS Global. Damn you, Global! But how could I not blame PVR. Once a cheater… As for the manual – wait, there’s a manual? That’s what my Man is for.

2:24 PM

Anonymous said…

PVRs mess up – it’s as simpleas that. Interface, disasterous – but it’s our only hope ObiOne.

As far as Rock Star goes, Toby matches better, but Lukas is the bomb. Although, I predict he will be dead in 2 years. Not metaphorically either. His life is too much of a mess and he’s already an alcholic – I think that was made clear on the show. Is head-spinning parents will come hunting for his cash and he will afll apart. I hope I am wrong, but hey, I picked him and JD the first weeks!


September 14, 2006   No Comments


Another Rock Report

What the what is ladylike?

It’s Ms Susie Large’s exit…

Sadly, Dilana…she’s not a goner…Just wishful thinking on my part. Instead, the Troll remains while Stormy goes home. I for one am saddened and disappointed by the expulsion of my crusher girl. The clockwork orange hat crime aside, she made such a comeback! Or so we (I) thought. The Suffragette City/Orig combo? Don’t tell me she didn’t work the stage like a pro. And by pro, I mean Pro. Around-a-pole, pay-for-it Pro. But ’twas not to be. Even Touchy-Feely Newsted’s tears couldn’t save her, so she’s gone to sleep in her own bed.

Personally, I think she should be sharing it with a certain Mr. Navarro. Good chemistry, no? And a whole other reality show in the making. Bye bye Stormy, so sad to see you go.

So who’s it gonna be? Will it be Magni? Dependable, boring, stif-on-stage Magni? Doubt it.

Dilana? Noooooo. How they gave her a standing O last night is beyond me. Yes she got the crowd all riled up, but at one point I wasn’t sure if she was standing or sitting, and that just ain’t right. And it’s not front (wo)man material either. Then again, what do I know? I doubt I’d be a Supernova fan anyway.

I am however, a fan of Lukas. Yep, a full-fledged member of the Rossi Possy. But dontcha think he’s better suited on Rockstar: Radionhead? The guy’s too intense for this group. And if he does win, I think JayJay New(age)sted might find himself too distracted and involved in the analysis of Lucky Lou….

One more thing. A stolen observation. Celeb reference of the day: Rockstar Supernova’s Lukas Rossi…and Ron Howard’s creepy character actor brother.

And then there’s the frontrunner. The fun guy. The guy’s guy. The guy who, according to one TV critic, makes the blond girls scream. To me he’s just a fun-lovin’, beer-drinkin’ mimic. Evs indeed. But to the boys in the band he’s a superstar:


But hold off placing your bets. Remember The Survivor Curse? Y’know, on Mark Burnett’s other reality show the cat who wins the car never, ever, ever wins the big prize. So I hope for Toby’s sake that this ain’t the case. Especially that car. A Honda Element? That’s a rockstar car? A student rockstar maybe.

It’s the final countdown. Na na na na and all that. And when our rockin’ prince(ss) is crowned we’ll have to make some important decisions. To buy or not to buy tix for the Snoozernova tour, whether the added bonus of the House Band and Shirtless Dave opening makes it all worhtwhile, and of course, the biggest question of all: what to watch now?


Anonymous said…

What to watch now??? Puh-leeze. We’re in the new golden age of television. Not that the new season has really dawned yet, with its various House/Lost/24 rip-offs, but there is hope on the horizon for WRITTEN television. But c’mon, once the Supernova burns as it crashes into the earth’s atmosphere you know you’ll be watching… “You’re The One That We Want”!!! The new talent search for the Broadway leads in Grease? You’re so there. And so am I, even though I’m an avowed non-viewer of reality/talent search TV. In the meantime, season 2 of WEEDS just started. Don’t bogart that remote!

10:49 AM

Anonymous said…

Oh Lawrence – it’s so easy to tell it’s you! What to watch – Nip/Tuck my dove on the 14th!!!!

Lukas does not look like Opie Cunningham’s bro whatsoever. My sister said Hawksley Workman – I agree. And Toby, well, he will win because he will pull for the boys and they’ll get his sloppy seconds. Although frat boy Toby seems to have some morals. On two separate occassions he has mentioned that the girls were way to young for him. Can it last when he is travelling with a band with the collective IQ of 70? I think he may be pulling a true rock star and screwing a 14 year old in about 5 months. Then we will know he has arrived.

1:36 PM

Anonymous said…


4:15 PM

Anonymous said…


4:15 PM

Anonymous said…

Nip/Tuck… I must protest. It’s the Jerry Maguire of television– successful men of a certain age whining about the mess they’ve made of their lives: weej weej sweetie darling. The big question on Nip/Tuck should be how Michael Jackson has flown under the radar for so long playing the son. I’m not buying it. By the way, who’s this Lawrence guy you speak of?

12:08 PM

Mother of all Mavens said…

OK. To address the comments. I meant what to watch as we’re spoilt for choice. Tho’ it always SEEMS that way in Sept. Lawrence is a tv guru. Nip/Talk begins Sept 23rd in Canada. The son is completely Wacko Jacko. ANd obviously, “anonymous” doesn’t appreciate that there aren’t merely whingey grown ups. It’s Christian. And the other guy.


September 6, 2006   No Comments


Mr. Irritability

A friend of mine just sent me a link to an article about Johnny Drama.

You DON’T know who that is?! Helloooo? He’s only the best thing to happen to Entourage since Entourage became the best thing to happen to summer tv since Nip/Tuck!

Got that? Yeah, I know Entourage has been around a couple of seasons. I remember watching a couple of episodes back in the day when I was working. When it wasn’t out on Canadian TV yet. And when I had to pretend it wasn’t nearly as good as our beloved show. It was (and is) way better. But that was then. This is now – the year Entourage went from passing interest, to PVR-worthy, to must-see PVR-TV. In part on its own merit, but also because it didn’t have a lot of competition in the summer viewing competition. Rockstar Supernova being the exception. LOVE IT. OBSESSED.

But more on that another time.

So the gist of this article my friend so kindly passed my way is basically how Johnny Drama is the bomb, how that type of character is the best American tv has to offer, etc. But in referencing pathetic losers like JD and his Seinfeldian predecessors, Mr. Rosenbaum neglected to acknowledge another, as he puts it, “Icon of Irritability”. Any thoughts? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? (and does everyone know the guy who played the principle in Ferris passed on this year? A little off topic, but a worthy FYI)

But let me repeat the question: anyone know of another key TV portrait of irritability?


He’s one of my all-time fave characters, on one of my all-time fave (and sadly cancelled) shows of recent years….Ladies and Gents, put your hands together for…


AKA George Bluth II. AKA Will Arnett.

But to me, he will always be Gob. That spelling! (For those of you not-in-the-know it’s pronounced like the biblical Job, which in turn is not prounounced like the work sitch I don’t have but rather, “Jobe”) Who’s cheesier-in-a-good-way? Who’s so stupid-he’s-genius? Who is that hilarious in the realm of irritable characters? Mr. Drama is amusing, but COME ON – he doesn’t hold a candle to Gob, R.I.P.

Let’s have another moment of pause before we snap back to today, to Entourage. To the article. To the fact that Johnny Drama merits his own space. ‘Cuz it’s true, as fab as Agent Ari is, as clever as his comebacks may be, the genies who write the show seem to rely on him more than they should. Yeah, he makes us laugh out loud, but he doesn’t bring a smile to the face the same way that Johnny D. does. And E. doesn’t. And Turtle definitely does not. And Vince? Hell, he brings an entirely different type of smile to this girl’s face. Let’s just say he’s on That List, along with Hugh J.

Maybe we all love Johnny Drama because he’s the loser we laugh at AND with. And because he’s the one we thank our lucky stars we are not. Whatever and whoever he is, catch him while you can…only two eps left ’til fall line up. Woo hoo!!!

For those interested, here’s the link to the article that inspired it all:


Anonymous said…

Mary J. Blige may call for “no more Drama” but apparently she’s off the mark. Keeping in line with the TV tradition– you can draw a line (backwards) from lovable (irritable) losers Drama and Gob, all the way back Mr. Herb Tarlek of WKRP, Ralph Malph on Happy Days, and of course Ted Baxter on MTM (if you thought Murray was the funny one– watch again, Stubing). Much the way Kramer on Seinfeld was a direct descendent of Burt on Soap. (Watch them back to back one day– you’ll see) That’s why we love the TV so– its familiarity is built right in!

9:13 AM

Anonymous said…

you should send this to Ron Rosenbaum to peruse. Although, I still am a fan of Ari – way more than Drama. Although Johnny D is awesome, he is not George Costansa – or Gob as you so brilliantly point out. What Drama has is funny absolutely, but Ari is outrageous and totally new. I love him and I think the show has improved by making him one of the lead characters. Last season was so incredible because of Ari’s vulnerability and fall from grace and let’s face it – Llyod!

9:26 AM

Anonymous said…

Yes Yes Yes…have you watched that “Louie” show? (the show about Louie the looser)

Its a mirror image of the “Honeymooners” complete with a boring set and a dumb husband with a smart but dumber wife who stays with him. They are people you don’t want to be like and thank g-d that you do not resemble.

Louie is a perfect portrait of “Mr. Irritability”.

Unlike Louie who I think should jump off a bridge. I hope Johnny Dramma gets that next big part that puts his career back on the map!!!!! Good Luck Johnny hopefully Ed can take you to the top.

p.s. don’t forget Turtles anxiety fixer tip.


August 22, 2006   No Comments


There is a Silver Lining

Quick: what’s 0.20% of 50 million? What’s 0.10%?

Anybody? Anyone at all? Bueller?

Me, I haven’t a clue – math ain’t my forte. But this I know: it’s the difference between being in the finals of American Idol, and being kicked off. Just ask Elliott who, as of last night, is out of the running.

I almost missed last night’s one hour king-for-a-day extravaganza. The Network that airs the show chose The Amazing Race finale instead. Hello? Everyone knows AI is the Amazing Race. Luckily, I tracked it down before my PVR let me down (again). I even had friends calling in a panic, desperate for their Idol fix. Fox, people. It’s always on Fox.

And what an hour it was. The folks in AI’s editing suite had me thinking it really might be a boy-on-boy final. Taylor had a jam packed mall and the requisite parade. Elliott had people on skyscraper roofs and the requisite parade. Katherine had her high school gym. You call that McPheever? Puh-lease. But despite it all, the name behind score number three – Mr. Yamin

Cry me a river, you say? No problem. Elliott’s the never-a-dry-eye guy. His own and everybody else’s. He’s the one who made Paula break down in tears – more than once (it’s not just the drugs. Or whatever she’s “not on”). He’s the one who overcame it all – illness, deafness, those teeth – to get to the final three. He’s the modest counter-boy who adores his mother. And, of course, he’s the biggest weeper on primetime TV. Who wouldn’t cry for him E. Yamin-a? I would. Granted, I am one of AI’s more hormonal viewers, but Elliott? Even the pity vote couldn’t save him from getting the ax…And now he’s gone. But not forgotten…

Or is he? Let’s face it, unless you make the finals, you’re a bit of a no-hoper. We’re as likely to see Elliott climbing the music charts as, say, well, any of the other non-finalists of the past. Sure, some tread the boards for touring productions of B’way musicals but other than that, where are they now? Oh, I know – they’re in the audience at American Idol! That’s who goes to the taping—I mean—live shows. But now, Mr Yamin is yesterday’s news.

And then there were two.

My man predicted Kat would win from day one. The pipes, the looks blah blah blah. Me? I’m rooting for the Soul Patrol. The man who spent his day down home on an eating binge. While Kate was kissing babies and hugging high school football jocks, Taylor was chowing down on ribs. Who doesn’t love that? Sure, it’s a grey day now that Elliott’s gone.

A Grey Day indeed!


Anonymous said…

the main answer to missed shows and PVR conundrums is don’t watch Canadian! I know it is almost treason to not support our TV/film industry – but fuck it – if it ain’t good, I’m not watching. Plus Cdn networks are morons. How many times have they moved my favourite shows without saying a word – CTV is the biggest culprit of all! I just don’t watch on Canadian stations anymore – it’s that simple.

3:50 PM

Anonymous said…

I’m glad that creepy little hillbilly boy got the boot. His mother should have fixed his teeth.
The gray haired two stepping Taylor seems to be this side of goofy. I think Simon is right when he observed him to be like a ‘drunken Dad at a wedding’. There is no choice but the American sweetheart girl as much as a part of me wants to smack her.


May 18, 2006   1 Comment


I Want My PVR

Yesterday was Wednesday, which can only mean one thing: Today, there is one less contender for the title of American Idol.

This week’s result show promised to be a goodie – someone would get the boot and we’d be down to the top 5. TOP 5! That’s huge! I know the results show isn’t nearly as exciting as its Tuesday night cousin but still, it’s the one with the definitive ending. Only one small problem. I missed it.

Instead of tuning in, I channel surfed, wandered into my kitchen, did a sudoku – anything but watch the show live. I had every reason to be cocky. I had PVR. I could watch it anytime. Commercial-free. Right?


I was betrayed. My trusty PVR (that’s Personal Video Recorder for those who are still in the dark ages) cheated on me. Left me high and dry. I admit, I tried to change it. Instead of sticking with the ever- faithful “record on this channel any day any time” I decided to play around and customize the times. And I got screwed. And not just out of any old show – out of American Idol.

I know I shouldn’t complain. Getting a life aside, I should be thankful it wasn’t Monday night’s 24/Prison Break combo platter. In the golden olden days I would’ve positively lost it had my PVR skipped Arrested Development. Maybe we shouldn’t go there, actually. It did (miss it) and I did (lose it).

I blame my husband. I blame him for a lot of things, but in this case it really was his fault. Every week we PVR Idol. We PVR everything, but it’s especially good for reality shows, where the commercials come fast and furious. For some reason AI always ends a minute or two after the PVR has stopped recording. So this week, at my man’s suggestion, I set it to end 5 minutes later. We thought we were pretty damn clever. And I checked it. Twice. And the rest is history.

I ranted. I raved. I ran upstairs to check on-line. NOTHING WAS POSTED. Eventually, Newsweek.com came through and I found out what everybody else already knew: America voted (Canada isn’t allowed) and The Pickler was history. Finally! Sure, I felt for her. The whole daddy’s-in-prison-but-I’ve-got-my-grandpa thing tugged at my heart strings too, I’m not a rock. But this is prime time TV, not a telethon. So ta-ta, Kelly, it’s trailer- time. (and I don’t mean those cheesy faux-mercials)

Today, I’m much calmer and my PVR has been reprogrammed to avoid any future mishaps. Sure, I missed the show. But I also missed the whining lines and insipid swan song of The Pickler…..Thank you, PVR!


Anonymous said…

Oh. My. God.

The same thing happened to me, except it was The Sopranos, which is the only show more preciously PVRed for me than American Idol! Death to Rogers, I say, unless they iron out this wrinkle soon!

And what IS Paris doing in the bottom two anyway?

12:53 PM

pritza said…

The time change killed our PVR it went haywire. We reset everything – made sure all was kosher and then, as luck would have it, the PVR was possessed. Satan himself fucked with our Sopranos as well!We were so upset that we checked our other preprogrammed gamut of goodies only to find that the Beast took issue with our overzealous viewing. We have since reprogrammed but how’s a lady to feel secure?

peff said…

That’s why I just go the good old fashioned route–digital satellite television, which gets me about 400 odd channels. Even though there’s often nothing I want to watch, at least I feel secure when I sit down in front of the telly in the anticipation that something MUST be on. And when there isn’t, there’s always the infinite reruns of Location, Location, Location (UK real estate searching reality tv show), which I’m obsessed with as I do love my property porn.


April 27, 2006   No Comments