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Not a Croc

I remember my first spotting. A neighbourhood chicita making her merry way down my street. Nothing out of the ordinary…until I noticed her shoes. Garish neon pink, holes on the top, kinda cloggy, completely hideous. I chalked it up to a one-off fashion crime, never dreaming that what I saw was one of zillions…..

Crocs. They’re here, they’re HIDEOUS, get used to it.

And then a funny thing happened. Amid all the hoopla, I did. Get used to ’em, that is. And then an even funnier thing happened. Funny-strange, not funny-haha. I became a little intrigued.

The thing is, I am and always have been a clog girl. My faves were my old brown ultrasuede ones with the raffia band over the top. Fabulous. I had black suede ones too. Showed dust something awful. And of course who can forget the true classic: treetorn clogs. Come on people, you know the ones: navy or white leather…A sleepover camp staple if there ever was one. Until they were banned. ‘Cuz all the girlies (and some boys) were tripping over their feet and spraining their ankles. But still, dragging your heels, clip-clopping along in your clogs…nothing beat it.

Until now. The clog, in the form of the almighty croc, is back. And, tho’ I hate to admit it, I’ve kinda jumped on the bandwagon…

WAIT!!! It’s not like I’m wearing them – puh-lease. They’re revolting. But at least now I get it. Sorta. You see last week family friends came to visit us at the cottage. I hadn’t seen them in years. And there they all were: Mama Croc, Papa Croc and two little Baby Crocs. The only one NOT in the damn shoes was the baby. And he might’ve been had they come in smaller sizes. After many furtive glances at the family’s feet I had to ask: Why? They rsvp’d with the usual litany of praise – they’re so light, so comfy, so cheap.

So what? They’re ugly!

But then I watched the ease with which Mama Croc got her babes to put their shoes on. Saw the pleasure Papa Croc got from whipping ’em off to jump on the trampoline. My man thought maybe he’d like a pair and I realized:there really was no escape.They’re here to stay.

And if you can’t beat ’em, join ’em.

After hitting the streets to track down a couple of pairs – one for the Boy, one for the Man, I realized not only were they hot – they were sold out. Everywhere. DEVASTATION! And now I’m desperate. And have hit the world wibe web to track down any non-beige ones. No, no, not for me. Why would I subject my size 9’s to such fashion agony? It’s not winter. For me, the quick-fix-all-purpose-summer-shoes have been around forever. They’re called flip flops.

But I reasure myself that I mst be the perfect wife and mother. Not only letting my boys be seen in such fashion fiascos. But encouraging it.

Hey, it’s not like I’ll ever be caught dead in a pair. Not yet anyway….

10 comments:

jojo said…

Well, I’m laughing out loud as I read! You know who just received a pair for his 71st birthday and is extatic!
Is walking around the house in them even with his suit on…yuk! Loves the feel…. not to mention that all the grandchildren wear them in & out of the water…. and back in the house!!!! By the way, they stink! They are rubber! The holes are suppose to take care of that but, I don’t think so!!!!
Keep looking for them! Costco has them in all colours!
BUT, not “crocs”……. a knock off of course!
Keep writing; you make me smile…. & laugh.

9:44 AM

jojo said…

Well, I’m laughing out loud as I read! You know who just received a pair for his 71st birthday and is extatic!
Is walking around the house in them even with his suit on…yuk! Loves the feel…. not to mention that all the grandchildren wear them in & out of the water…. and back in the house!!!! By the way, they stink! They are rubber! The holes are suppose to take care of that but, I don’t think so!!!!
Keep looking for them! Costco has them in all colours!
BUT, not “crocs”……. a knock off of course!
Keep writing; you make me smile…. & laugh.

9:44 AM

Anonymous said…

Thanks Jojo for finally telling me what I always knew – they stink!!! There is no way someone with testosterone in their body and feet could have a pair of this shundah footwear without them smelling!! My kids sandlas stink – there is no way a full coverage rubber nightmare won’t! I will resist the masses and say no, I will not go gently into that croc night.

1:13 PM

Anonymous said…

You can get any colour any size at the shoe store on bathurst at melrose, in plaza that has Dani’s hair salon. that’s were I got my babes a pair. none for me though.

2:23 PM

Anonymous said…

Crocs are actually designed NOT to stink- you may want to shell out the extra buck and buy the real ones….and wash once and a while

6:00 PM

jojo said…

JoJo again…… for the last person on your list of comments!

My 71 year old honey does have the “THE CROCS”,
the real ones. They really do smell and I know it is not his feet….. they never smell!!!
The knock off ones are at costco!

6:05 PM

Anonymous said…

Croc pot: These things are ubiquitous, horrendous, and the hit of the summer. Can you imagine the fence at the swim docks when the kids check in– the tens of crocs and the confusion when swim is over. Label ’em up with a magic sharpie– otherwise, your kids is gonna be wearing someone else’s crocs when they leave the docks. A pox!

8:45 AM

Messy Mom said…

LMAO! They are EVERYWHERE here. The “real” crocs, the fake ones, etc. My 7 yr old daughter wants them really badly, but I just keep telling her no. I don’t care if everyone else is wearing them, they are u-g-l-y. When I see them in the stores and see everyone wearing them, I just keep thinking of all the other fashion crazes that I have seen in my almost 40 years on this earth. I actually start to laugh at the multicolored rows of this things. Aren’t they supposed to be GARDENING shoes? I just can’t bring myself to look at those “shoes” and laugh and just say no! I am glad to see that I am not the only one that finds these things amusing.

8:20 PM

Anonymous said…

Incredible…..How many people left comments regarding “ugly shoes”????? Fake??? Real??? Who are we trying to impress??? Garden shoes, wear everywhere shoes??? Is this must have trend exclusive only to the 416,905 area??? Is is worth the hunt??? Threr have been many ugly shoes that have made there mark. What color will you be wearing???

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