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Hey Hey Paula

OK, I know many of you are sick ‘n tired of my Idol rants. But I can’t help it. I just can’t. At least not today. I didn’t pick over the girl on ladies night, did I? Mostly because they kinda sucked. Alexandrea, Asia’h, and Syesha aside. Oh, and the rock’n roll nurse who, while channeling Dilana-I-don’t-wanna obviously wishes she’d gone whole hog for Rockstar SuperINXS when she had the chance. Did you see how uncomfortable she was in the group sing-a-long? Did you blame her?

But I digress….

I want to apologize for those of you sick of this “shizz” (yes that’s a direct quote) and let you know that I will try to hold off further comments ’til the Top 10. T-R-Y. Trouble is, I get so caught up in Idol Fever and my usual sounding board is away… What’s a girl to do but turn to her blog? But this is the last one. For the time being. I hope.

Okay? Can I get on with it now?

So, didya see her? Were you blown away by her? Who, you ask, who?!? Why, the trainwreck that is Paula Abdul of course! No, I’m not talking about her seal claps or lame advice or overall Paula-ness. Not this time. It’s that vid! Her triumphant return to pop! Hideous? Hilarious! I couldn’t get over it. What was she thinking?

Oh, I know – she was thinking about the audience. The millions, held captive and forced into watching a Paula Abdul video. A new one. Bring back the cat. Bring back Arsenio. Bring back the Lakers. But this? Who styled that sucker?? And the wind! What was with the wind? Afterwards Ryan brought out a massive fan! Not a human who loves her-fan, but a thingy with blades going round ‘n round-fan! She laughed like she was in on the joke, but I don’t think she was. And to see Randy playing alongside her…And then Simon and Shortstuff showing up at the end. Crude, rude, I’m not in the mood.

But I did think it was funny…..

Otherwise, show was lame. Garrett Lief Garrett is gone. Who? Exactly. And Chuck ‘n Buck guy too. Should’ve been Luke Perry Luke (Who? Exactly). And the wonky-eyed non-beauty is gone. She looked hotter on her family’s t-shirts, no? What happened? Keep an eye out for her in Playboy. You heard it here first. I was a bit sad to see Joanne the large-and-in-charge beauty queen go. Thought for sure one of the carrie Underwoodettes would’ve left the building…But no such luck.

Anyhoo, the con is on….People with labels, accents, all kinds….Tho’ no convictions yet. And nothing too too trashy. Aside from Paula, that is.

That’s it. ‘Til the top 10. MOAM out.

2 comments:

Hillary Clinton said…

I love your “idol chatter” so don’t listen to those naysayers….keep it up!

2:14 PM

Anonymous said…

Well as the owner of the “shizz” comment I felt a response was necessary. While beautifully written, enough with the idol crap. seriously, anything that continues to place Paula Abdul in the spotlight as opposed to the grocery store she should be working at is a disgrace. Furthermore, the show pulls the very best every trailer park in the square states into the limelight. I mean, how many toothless goobers are going to continue to humiliate themselves year after year!
However, you know I love you MOAM.

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